the long stretch.

Any mom who has given birth or has waited for their adoptive baby knows that the last few weeks can be the hardest and longest weeks. And for someone who is not gifted with patience the days seem to go by slowly as my body slows down in preparation for D-Day (delivery day).  Some concerns that stress me out right now is falling behind on laundry and then having baby and coming home to buckets of laundry to do or falling behind on cleaning the house. I am so particular about things and it makes me sad that I operate like this sometimes. Thankfully I hired a cleaning lady to help me with floors and bathrooms every week once the little guy arrives so that is one burden taken off my shoulders. 

I have been hearing WAY too many friends who have been having their babies in their bathrooms, parking lots, cars, hallways because labor went by so quickly. I will be delivering in our towns new hospital so Nick and I have a plan to just immediately go to the hospital right when I go into labor since my labor with Max went by extremely quicker than Calvin's. For me, the car drive is sometimes the worst part so the idea of getting to the hospital as quickly as possible and laboring there or walking the lobby sounds more appealing.

I am hoping to get a pedicure, go on a few more date nights, get a massage, see my chiropractor one more time, and also visit the beach within the next 3 weeks before the little guy arrives. I feel like a new mom all over again because every birth and child is so different and the unknown of it all gives me all the feels. At my last OB appointment my doctor asked me how my exercised-induced asthma was doing and I flat out laughed in her face because I have been the least active in my entire life for these past 9.5 months. Thankfully, Spring will be here soon (it is 71 degrees here in San Diego today) so as long as my groin muscle heals I can't wait to get out of the house and walk around more. To say I am out of shape is a complete understatement.

As for the blog I am not sure how active I will be once we have three kids to take care of. I am pretty active on social media so I plan to share a lot via those outlets but I plan to write a post about the delivery, life with 3 and postpartum care. As for all the old ladies at the grocery store telling me I look like I am "going to pop". You are right! I am very big and ready to go but unfortunately have no control over the situation. Our little man will be here on a day only the Lord knows and thankfully this time around I am 100% okay with that. 

I would love and appreciate prayer for 1. a smooth labor and delivery for me and baby boy, 2. Max and Calvin to have a good transition to our new addition 3. to not get postpartum depression again 3. to have patience and 4. to respect and love Nick when things get stressful once we are out-numbered.

If you need me you can find me on my couch ;)

Last Sea World trip before baby  

Last Sea World trip before baby  

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We were in the soak zone

We were in the soak zone

I love when they all match!  

I love when they all match!  

Eating some junk food for the last time. 

Eating some junk food for the last time. 

measuring in moments rather than days.

Often when I am laying in bed to sleep I reflect on the day. I will be the first to remember every time I yelled, raised my voice, didn't follow through with a consequence and all the times where I acted like a mother I never wanted to be. As the minutes continue to run, I then through myself a pity party on how OCD I am about everything and how I often let my pride get in the way of enjoying time with my family.

Today I took the boys to the dentist. My kids are weird and love going to the doctors and dentist  (maybe a future in the medical field for both of them?), so they of course woke up bright and early excited to get their teeth checked. Two things happened today that have caused me to deeply reflect on how I view my life. These events have also revealed to me that I need to be measuring in moments rather than days.

Frank McKenna

Frank McKenna

 

1.  Getting out of the house when you are 36 weeks pregnant and hormonal is hard work! Add two energy-filled boys to the mix and it can get chaotic quickly. After breaking up two crying arguments of who would press the button to open the garage door we were finally on our way. I was beating myself up inside for how I could have handled the situations differently when Bruno Mars' new song came on "24K Magic" . This song has been our new jam and both boys immediately started to sing and dance. As I started to sing with them God showed me how my boys didn't let their arguments 10 minutes prior or our rough start of a morning effect their entire day. They were totally consumed by the moment and in that moment they were happy and filled with joy. It was so easy for them to focus on what was happening in the present rather than dwelling in the pasts and I too then decided that I didn't want what I didn't do get in the way of what I could do at that moment in time. 

2. I am a prideful person, it's an awful characteristic about myself and something I need to continually work on. I pride myself in my kids, my home, how I parent, and especially the fact that I have never really had a cavity before (minus the small starting of one when I was pregnant with Calvin). We make sure our kids brush their teeth everyday, we bathe everyday, we give our kids a balanced me 3 times a day. These are all things I take too much pride in. So when Calvin's dentists told me he had cavities on his molars you can probably guess how I took the news. My hormonal and prideful self needed someone to blame, someone to put this awful news on. 

After receiving some tough honesty from my baby sister, a text from a few friends, and some lunch I noticed how I again was letting my day whole day be ruined.  I couldn't see my kids playing or the fact that it was beautiful outside or that my mom kindly came home for lunch to see me. I wasn't measuring my day in the good moments. 

As moms it is easy to let all the bad moments measure up into being one bad day. We beat ourselves up and define our worth and accomplishments on an unrealistic scale. But God graciously gives us so many good moments. Little specks of grace are there in the midst of the hard but we have to let down our pride and insecurities to be able to see and enjoy them.  If you are like me and are quick to measure the bad days but forget the good moments than join me in praying daily to see all the little moments. Pray that we would be able to find our worth in Christ and be thankful for all of the times we are given grace despite our sinfulness.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above”
— James 1:17
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
— Hebrews 4:16
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something every mom needs to hear.

 

I am not a person who needs constant affirmation for my abilities, looks, or accomplishments. I try to give myself a lot of slack and don't take myself too seriously. A few nights ago I went into the boys room and changed Max's diaper in the middle of his sleep, re-put on his socks, and filled his sippy with water. This is a routine I do almost every night. My reasoning behind this is that if he is dry, warm, and hydrated than he won't need to wake in the middle of the night and 99% of the time this works. I commented to Nick on how I am so strange to always do all these things when he isn't up. 

 "G, you're a really good mom." That was Nick's response to me and it has stuck with me for the last few days. I realized in that moment that although I do not need to be affirmed that I am a good mom, it meant so much to verbally hear that I was not crazy but actually was doing something right and good for our child. I know that my kids and husband appreciate both the small and great things I do to serve them each day, but for all of us moms it is so encouraging to actually hear these words. 

In my own mind, I often tell myself "Why do you do that?" or "That is a waste of time" or "No one cares that you do this" and the list goes on. I easily forget that God has chosen ME to be the one who is to love all of these boys and my husband. You too were specifically designed for YOUR family. What you do is enough for them and they need YOU. Not anyone else. Just you, in all of your you-ness.

There will be a day when our kids are grown up and we're no longer needed. But for now, many of us are needed, cherished, and were created to be a good mom to our kids. If you haven't heard that you are a good mom in a while, I am here to tell you that you ARE a good mom! 

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