Yesterday at church as my husband was doing announcements before preaching, I came up from the nursery to see my 3 year old at the pulpit by his leg. He handled it well and she came back to me in the pew, while I grinned as the entire church watched this all play out. Now, how would I have responded to my 3 year old at home WITHOUT 200 eyes looking at me? Is there a gap between how I respond to things in private vs. public? If someone was a fly on the wall of my home what would they observe? Of course we are all different to a degree in the comfort of our own homes. I wear things at home I am not going to parade around church in, I have inside jokes & teasing, playful things with my husband I will not share around others. We have family quirks just for us, not for the world to see. This is not what I mean. When evaluating this area of my life in a healthy way, I am referring more to my heart, my spirit, how I am relating to God. How do I speak to my kids when giving general directions or when correcting? How do I respond when the clothes I just spent 30 min folding are thrown around the floor? In our home, how do I speak about other people not present? How do I speak to my husband? How do I use my time, my energy? How do I use my phone? Is what I post indicative of reality or making myself look good, showing my good works before men? Or is it a healthy, truthful representation of my life, my kids, and authentic? And is my phone or something else making me far less present with my family or am I exercising wisdom with my time?
Our life in private and the thousands of decisions we make when no one is looking will eventually spill over. Charles Spurgeon said, "Sincerity makes the very least person to be of more value than a talented hypocrite." And when there is too big a gap between our private & public life do we run to fix it or try harder or fake it better? No, we cannot attempt to touch ourselves up and make ourselves something other than we really are. Instead, we need to first run to Christ, the one who takes us as we are but promises not to leave us as we are. He has sent his Spirit on a mission to change every part of us, in every context of our lives. So as we depend on the Holy Spirit's power instead of our own ability to patch up our morality we slowly but surely become authentically Christian in private and in public.
If we are united to Christ, the Holy Spirit is cleaning us from the inside out, making us more Christ-like. So when we are hypocrites, when we are harsh with our kids, when we do things that make us feel the weight of our sin, we run to him for forgiveness and grace. He's lived each day perfectly on our behalf-in private and public. And then by his Spirit's grace and power we strive to close that gap between public and private a little more each day, knowing he is with us as we do so.
November 26, 2010, Nick and I became one. I was 21 at the time and Pinterest was not even out yet. (Thank goodness.) In seven years we have experienced some of the best and hardest days of my life and it's crazy to think that we have technically “grown up” together as far as maturity (or "adulting") goes.
I didn’t know it then, but surprisingly our life together is very much what I imagined it was going to be like. God has been so faithful to us and I can still say to this day that marrying Nick was easily the best and easiest decision I’ve ever made.
Here are seven things I have learned so far about being married:
1. Saying sorry is always better than being right.
2. Unspoken expectations can damage a relationships growth,
3. Dating your spouse after marriage is as crucial, if not more, then before you were married.
4. Roles in the house will change with each added child.
5. We are husband and wife, first, and then mom and dad, second.
6. Communication. Communication. Communication.
7. Pray for your marriage.
Nick and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary with a day away exploring beautiful San Diego all over again. (Without our kids, of course.) Our anniversary is sandwiched between Thanksgiving and our middle's birthday so we tried to keep it simple.
Good food, good company and good drink.
We are planning a little tropical vacation in a few months with some saved up mileage points so that is something where we can look forward to some more extended time together.
I love you Babe and thanks for editing this post for me. You are and always will be my best friend and my better half.
Those of you that know me know that I like things done yesterday. I am often impulsive with decisions and waiting has never been something I was good at. Of course, when you own a home from the 80's that needs some improvements nothing ever gets done quickly or finished without something going wrong. Our families schedule have been absolutely crazy so the updates on the house have therefore taken a back seat. Thankfully, our house was in good condition when we bought it and has already felt like home.
The boys LOVE our new backyard but if you were to ask them why they love their new house they would easily say "because the ice cream lady comes everyday." My favorite part of our new home is probably the playroom. It has been great to have a place to put all of the boys stuff and not have our living room look like Toys R Us 24/7. We have a huge piece of land in the back and even though the front yard has plants suitable for drought and the backyard was finished there is always something to be done on a given day. I am shocked at how much I have enjoyed the gardening but the hard part is finding the time to do it when I have my hands free.
We are so thankful to live in a nice neighborhood that is close to the freeway, stores, friends, and even church.
Updates Accomplished So far:
- Painted kitchen cabinets
- Bought a new coffee table and couch
- Took out some plants and trees in the backyard that were not placed in proper areas
- Organized the garage and storage
- Replaced broken tub upstairs
- Tile the floor and paint upstairs bathroom
- Replace the stair railings
- Buy a new dining room set
- Replace chandalier in stairwell and new ceiling fan in dining room
- Change out door handles
- Redo tiles on the fireplace
- Remove window shutters from kitchen
- Take out two trees in front yard
- Put up curtains in master bedroom and living room
Some inspirational pics