To say I was scared to go from having one child to two is an understatement.
I like consistency and am not a big fan of change. Adding another sweet baby to the mix was going to mix all of that up. I expected to go through PPD again and to feel completely overwhelmed like when I first became a mom and it scared me to go through that with two. But we still decided to try for another one since Calvin was very social and outgoing and wanted him to have a sibling to grow up with like we had.
To my surprise, going from 1 to 2 was much smoother than it was going from 0 to 1. This time around we had already gone down this road before and knew that the love we would have for this child would be worth all the hard times and that their was always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Everything with Max was and is easier. I had a quick labor and delivery. I had a fast recovery. I didn't experience PPD. I was able to nurse without complications and I had a two year old who likes to help out mommy by throwing dirty diapers out. Nick and I were both so excited to meet Max face-to-face because we knew how wonderful it was to have a child made in our own image. Seeing Max for the first time was pure bliss. It was the kind you see on TV and the kind I didn't experience with Calvin. Seeing Calvin hold Max was equally as enjoyable and it was in those first few moments that I felt like this time around: things would be different.
I'll be the first to admit: those first few weeks of having a toddler and a newborn is very exhausting, even with all the help I had daily. The boys needs were both very different and it was a challenge for me to see Calvin growing up and not being 100% present for every moment of his life. Since sleeping (ha...what's sleep when you have a newborn?) the first month or two with a little one is rough, I figured a great way to have one-on-one time with Calvin and to get some rest was to go to bed with him. We would read books, pray, and I then would get a good 2 hours of rest in before my "night stretch". Calvin loved the extra snuggles and those two hours gave me the boost I needed for the looooooonnnnngggg night ahead. Calvin and I would also have our outdoor time in the morning while Max took his long morning naps. Having these two times of the day as only "Calvin and mommy time" helped me to have peace of mind knowing if Max was a little needy that day that Calvin and I had our special time together.
Fast forward to today. My boys are already forming a great brotherly bond. Max crawls around everywhere following Calvin, and Calvin loves the fact that Max laughs at his every move. Most days they even take one nap at the same time. Those days are golden!
I am at the point where I can manage dinners again and the laundry is under control, even though it is twice as full each day! I still wake up tired and I need my morning cup of coffee, but I do wake up excited for the day with these two. Life is still chaotic at times and rather loud, but I love being a mother to two boys. I don't think we will have any more kids biologically (although I hear this can change at the 1 year old mark...after all, it changed when we went from 1 to 2!) but we do want to adopt in the future! I am thankful to have had two healthy pregnancies and deliveries, and we do wonder what a third (possibly a girl!?) might look like, however we also desire to raise a child who has no mom or dad and raise him or her in the fear and admonition of the Lord. One of my good friends will hopefully write for us soon on her heart and zeal for adoption. Stay tuned!