I can't do it all alone.
There, I admitted it.
I grew up in a home where my mom handled all of the housework, child-rearing, and worked a full time job. So naturally when I became a mom I too thought, I got this. Much to my surprise, I was always beat by the time 5pm rolled around and I needed help physically, mentally and emotionally. Once I let my pride down I realized that it was not shameful to ask my husband, the father of my kids, for help with things.
Nick and I both agreed once we had kids that I would get the pleasure of staying home with them and he would go to work to provide for us. In theory we both have day jobs, so once Nick gets home we are all together working on the same team (thankfully when Nick comes home he puts all work on hold until the next day). In order for us to get to enjoy time together as a family and then afterwards time together as a couple it was helpful to divvy up the tasks for taking care of our kids.
Here is a list of the things Nick graciously helps me with:
- Entertain kids while I finish up dinner
- Clean off the dinner the dinner table while I wash the dishes
- Clean Max's eating area (this gets its own point because he is one messy eater)
- Start the boys bath each night (the boys really look forward to this)
- Put away any remaining toys with Calvin when I put Max to bed
- Get Calvin ready for and into bed
- Throw away the trash and recycle each day
- Watch boys in the mornings twice a week so I can sleep in; if you call 7:15 AM sleeping in
- Pack Calvin's church bag every Saturday night
- Fill both cars up with gas and water bottles on Saturday for church on Sunday (we take two cars to church since Nick teaches Sunday school and preaches often and we commute to Irvine)
- On Saturday mornings after cleaning Nick will usually spend some one on one time with the boys so I can run any errands that are easier without the kids or an hour of alone time.
I am thankful that Nick's jobs allow for him to be hands on with the boys and such a help to me. At the end of the day all of us can agree that our patience and energy run low and it is in those times where we need to work together. The hardest part of getting help from your spouse or family is asking for it. There is no shame or guilt in needing a hand. I have found that by setting out clear expectations and helpful tips for your husband and/or family that the end results are a more happy home.
Everyone's home life will be different given when your help is available to give you a hand. As kids grow and change all the time so does the type of help that is needed. But with open communication and pride aside I can say that a team effort at certain times of the day is beyond helpful. [Thank you babe for everything you do, including but not limited to editing this post!]
Do you ask for help when you need it? Is it difficult for you to ask others for help? What are some ways you need help? Is there a certain time of the day when you need a hand more than others?