Fleeting stages

My Amazon Prime account notifies me of pictures and videos taken the same day a few years ago, kind of like what Facebook does now. I find myself waiting for the notification each day since I enjoy the surprise of seeing what memory has gone by that I get to relive for a few moments.

I have been noticing after having our third baby that there are certain stages that simply fleet away. I watch videos of Calvin from when Max was a newborn and see that his two year old stage flew right by me. He was forming the cutest sentences and becoming his own little person but I don't remember much of it because of exhaustion with a newborn and non-stop nursing.

The other day I was laying down with Leo as he stared at the ceiling fan and Max hopped onto bed and started talking to me in his cute 2 year old voice. "Momma, Leo is so handsome! I no more baby, Leo is baby now!" I almost broke down crying because it was in that moment that I saw I have been missing out on Max in his current stage due to being so busy with baby Leo.  There is no recipe on how to equally divide your time up once you more than one child. We always try to hold onto the newborn stage and in my case I then miss out on my other kids changing stages.

I want to remember every stage. I want to remember every milestone and every funny moment. I want to remember all the cute discussions and little quirks that make each of my boys uniquely them, but I can't. Amazon Prime will never be as good as the real life moments but I am so thankful for the memories. I am only one person and my love and time is stretched thin. Living in the moment and soaking up the present is a skill I have not mastered and am constantly working on. But for days like today I am thankful for Amazon prime, for pictures, for videos, and for blog posts that help me to remember the stages that go by way too quickly.